And we're not even getting one lifetime's worth of problems to handle.
[a small sigh. she's going to slip a little closer to Vera and not exactly try to be subtle about what she's doing, but when has she ever been subtle about anything ever?]
All we can do is find other people to reach out to and help each other out whenever we can. Wherever we find them, you know?
Mm... I wish I could have been more social. I haven't done much more than lock myself in my apartment and wait for everything to blow over.
[And she would normally have paid no mind to her getting closer, but, well, it's a little hard not to. Instead, she'll just close her eyes and lean back, pretending not to notice for at least the time being.]
[it's very gracious that she's pretending. don't worry, Lina's going to keep this chaste. she just... they're talking about being close to people, right? they're talking about knowing each other. maybe it would help Vera? she doesn't know.]
That's what the other me did. The one who originally roomed with Jen, when I first got to know her. And I was just lucky enough to live with someone, you know? Once she and I started being friends, it made all the... weirdness a lot easier to deal with. It made it easy to know that there would be someone else there, who was also on the app, whenever I woke up.
[she keeps up her kind, sweet smile even though Vera's eyes are closed.]
[That's a really sweet concept, having someone nearby that can always share in your experiences. You're never really alone that way.
Sadly, this was an idea Vera once had as well, and her smile waves in remembrance.]
Yeah, I... thought the same thing when I asked my girlfriend to move in with me. It was great knowing I always had her beside me... until I woke up one morning to her having completely forgotten me.
[Vera just barely gets through the end of the sentence before Lina moves closer, abandoning all pretense, and gently wraps her arms around her new friend. her, um, boss? sort of. her new naked boss friend. this could be awkward.]
[Vera tenses up immediately when she feels the arms come around her, taking half a moment for her to calm down. Lina didn't mean any harm, even if she jumped on her out of nowhere. It's because she cares.
She takes a breath as her body slowly starts to relax.]
It was... something. She was the person who helped me realize I was gay, so for me to go through that life-changing realization only for her to forget about all of it? It fucked me up.
Honestly, it's been a year and I'm still not sure I'm over it.
[don't worry, Lina can read some situations better than others and backs off the hug pretty quick, settling down into the water right next to Vera (but not touching her) to listen. but the urge to give some kind of physical comfort is hard to resist when she hears that whole story.]
I lost track of the girl who helped me realize I was gay after I got adopted. It's not... the same, but it still hurts. I'm sorry, Vera.
[she's quiet, looking down at her hands that she now has folded in her lap.]
You know it's okay to not be okay, right? Even if it's been a year.
[Shit, she didn't mean for Lina to back off. Why does she need to be so terrible with people? A ding against her confidence really didn't help this now very emotional conversation.]
But I just... I really want to be okay again. I don't want to always feel alone, or go to bed feeling like part of me is missing.
[Lina tests the waters after a moment, the need especially strong after she hears Vera talk about feeling alone, and shifts her leg so it's just touching up against Vera's.]
I know. Is there anyone you were interested in? [but she takes a second to consider it.] Or is that complicated too? Not just for app reasons.
[A leg. She can handle a leg. In fact, she'll start to slowly lean in until her shoulder is resting against Lina's arm. This, also kind of leaves her head nearly resting against the other girl's shoulder, but she'll crane it away for now. Don't want to go too far.]
Not... really. It seems like everyone I know is taken. I had a... little fling with Yin, but she's gone now too, and as much as I love Jen, she's a completely different person from who I used to know.
[She lets out a pitiful little chuckle.] So I'm kind of painfully single? Surrounded by beautiful women who all have eyes for each other instead of me. Good thing I'm not the jealous type, huh?
[that hurts to hear, too, especially because... Lina kind of has the opposite problem. too many girls are interested in her and she can only choose one, apparently. the hand that's between them slowly comes up and around Vera's body so Lina's fingertips can very carefully grace Vera's opposite shoulder.]
I know we more or less just met, but I already know you're wonderful. If people aren't putting their eyes on you, they must need glasses. [she gives a slow and calm, but sincere smile.] You deserve happiness the same as all of us.
[Damn, Lina, were you sitting on that line or did it just come to you? Either way, Vera has to turn away a bit to hide the red creeping on her face.
But she won't reject the arm around her shoulder. In fact, she starts to lean against the other girl, allowing her to take some of her weight both literally and figuratively.]
[and Lina just keeps smiling and tries not to let the warmth of another body cloud her judgment. she just... she likes being close to people. it feels nice.]
But maybe not. Maybe I have a really high opinion of you just from what you've already done for me. And maybe I'm giving you exactly as much credit as I think you deserve.
[This is relaxing, allowing the warm water to loosen up her tense muscles, letting the minerals rejuvenate her skin, and the steam open up her pores. She just knows she'll be walking out of this bath feeling better than she has in months.
Of course, curling up with a cute new lady friend never hurts either.]
I'm not really sure? I usually go to these things alone. It's almost meditative that way.
[She turns towards the taller girl, still resting against her.]
[this is cute. this is quiet and nice and extremely cute.]
My idea of girl talk is asking my friends about their crushes. Just to warn you about what you'd be getting into.
[she's not joking, but also, if Vera just wants this to be quiet and meditative, there can be time for that later. she's leaving it up to the girl who's resting on her shoulder.]
[Lina repeats the question and puts a finger to her chin in fake contemplation. she could do the funny thing of just obliquely describing Vera, or she could give a real answer. and she knows what she's going to do after a moment.]
Someone with a heart as big as mine. Someone who knows how good it feels to be free with her love, and someone who feels things... intensely, you know? She doesn't have to cook, but she should have some kind of goal in her life. Something that she's always reaching towards. If she's already really smart, that's a bonus, but if being really smart is her goal then that's the more important part. Um, let's see. It doesn't really matter what she looks like, I don't think, but, um. [actually, she won't say that out loud quite yet, though man this water must be pretty warm if her face is going red!]
I just want someone who can help me be a better person while I'm helping them out however I can, too. [a beat.] That's what true love is, you know?
[Oh wow, that's much more romantic than she was expecting, though she isn't too sure what being "free with her love" means. The thought of "true love" is an interesting one, however. She'd been focused on finding love in general, but true love? How do you even start looking for something like that?]
You've thought about this before, haven't you? [She gives the taller girl's arm a squeeze.]
But come on, I won't think you're shallow if you talk about looks. Surely there's a body type you prefer?
[it's almost like thinking too hard about love is exactly what Lina's problem is! haha. ha. not that she'd ever let anyone know or anything. fortunately, being called out on more, um, physical preferences is what gets her to look bashful before being called out for how much she thinks about love hits her.]
I, um. [how does she say this tastefully?] I don't know if it's a preference, but more often than not, um, especially lately, the kinds of girls I like all have. Kind of... bigger than normal chests.
[Oh. Vera's of two minds about this. On one hand, she very much agrees with this preference. On the other, it very much doesn't describe herself. Still, she'll play it straight, mustering a small giggle.]
I know just what you mean. God, I wish I could have introduced you to Victoria. Tall, athletic, washboard abs... [Sigh.] And yet she somehow had this amazing chest. Some girls get all the luck.
[not that Lina's immune to a couple of those descriptors. her muscles aren't showing yet, but give her until about halfway through November, and other than that she's built pretty similarly to Jen. identical heights and everything.]
But like I said. It isn't really a preference, it's just something that's been happening a lot lately. I don't... really think it's possible for me to see a woman and not think she looks good. [well! that's. honest and true and incredibly embarrassing. in for a penny...] Present company absolutely included.
[Vera lets out a bit of a surprised noise. Some weird combination of a gasp and a choke? She knows she's pretty, but somehow a genuine complement always seems to take her by surprise.]
Wow, I... that's very sweet of you to say. [Even though you pretty much just said you find every woman attractive?
Oh well. She knows what she meant.] I hope you know that you're quite lovely as well.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[She sinks down until her shoulders dip beneath the surface, leaving just her head and neck exposed.]
More than I've wanted to deal with in a lifetime.
no subject
[a small sigh. she's going to slip a little closer to Vera and not exactly try to be subtle about what she's doing, but when has she ever been subtle about anything ever?]
All we can do is find other people to reach out to and help each other out whenever we can. Wherever we find them, you know?
no subject
[And she would normally have paid no mind to her getting closer, but, well, it's a little hard not to. Instead, she'll just close her eyes and lean back, pretending not to notice for at least the time being.]
I just... don't want to lose anyone else.
no subject
That's what the other me did. The one who originally roomed with Jen, when I first got to know her. And I was just lucky enough to live with someone, you know? Once she and I started being friends, it made all the... weirdness a lot easier to deal with. It made it easy to know that there would be someone else there, who was also on the app, whenever I woke up.
[she keeps up her kind, sweet smile even though Vera's eyes are closed.]
no subject
Sadly, this was an idea Vera once had as well, and her smile waves in remembrance.]
Yeah, I... thought the same thing when I asked my girlfriend to move in with me. It was great knowing I always had her beside me... until I woke up one morning to her having completely forgotten me.
no subject
I'm sorry. Nobody deserves that.
no subject
She takes a breath as her body slowly starts to relax.]
It was... something. She was the person who helped me realize I was gay, so for me to go through that life-changing realization only for her to forget about all of it? It fucked me up.
Honestly, it's been a year and I'm still not sure I'm over it.
no subject
I lost track of the girl who helped me realize I was gay after I got adopted. It's not... the same, but it still hurts. I'm sorry, Vera.
[she's quiet, looking down at her hands that she now has folded in her lap.]
You know it's okay to not be okay, right? Even if it's been a year.
no subject
But I just... I really want to be okay again. I don't want to always feel alone, or go to bed feeling like part of me is missing.
no subject
I know. Is there anyone you were interested in? [but she takes a second to consider it.] Or is that complicated too? Not just for app reasons.
no subject
Not... really. It seems like everyone I know is taken. I had a... little fling with Yin, but she's gone now too, and as much as I love Jen, she's a completely different person from who I used to know.
[She lets out a pitiful little chuckle.] So I'm kind of painfully single? Surrounded by beautiful women who all have eyes for each other instead of me. Good thing I'm not the jealous type, huh?
no subject
I know we more or less just met, but I already know you're wonderful. If people aren't putting their eyes on you, they must need glasses. [she gives a slow and calm, but sincere smile.] You deserve happiness the same as all of us.
no subject
But she won't reject the arm around her shoulder. In fact, she starts to lean against the other girl, allowing her to take some of her weight both literally and figuratively.]
You're... giving me too much credit.
no subject
[and Lina just keeps smiling and tries not to let the warmth of another body cloud her judgment. she just... she likes being close to people. it feels nice.]
But maybe not. Maybe I have a really high opinion of you just from what you've already done for me. And maybe I'm giving you exactly as much credit as I think you deserve.
no subject
[She'll never concede that point, but her words do move her enough that she finally relents, resting her head on the taller girl's shoulder.]
It's nice to hear, at least. Thank you.
no subject
[she's quiet for a moment before letting out a contented sigh. this is relaxing.]
So is this when people usually do girl talk? Or is there a lot of talking at all?
no subject
[This is relaxing, allowing the warm water to loosen up her tense muscles, letting the minerals rejuvenate her skin, and the steam open up her pores. She just knows she'll be walking out of this bath feeling better than she has in months.
Of course, curling up with a cute new lady friend never hurts either.]
I'm not really sure? I usually go to these things alone. It's almost meditative that way.
[She turns towards the taller girl, still resting against her.]
Not that I'm not up for girl talk.
no subject
My idea of girl talk is asking my friends about their crushes. Just to warn you about what you'd be getting into.
[she's not joking, but also, if Vera just wants this to be quiet and meditative, there can be time for that later. she's leaving it up to the girl who's resting on her shoulder.]
no subject
Really? [She's not sure what she's supposed to be "getting into" right now, but she'll play along.]
Okay then, what's your ideal woman like?
no subject
[Lina repeats the question and puts a finger to her chin in fake contemplation. she could do the funny thing of just obliquely describing Vera, or she could give a real answer. and she knows what she's going to do after a moment.]
Someone with a heart as big as mine. Someone who knows how good it feels to be free with her love, and someone who feels things... intensely, you know? She doesn't have to cook, but she should have some kind of goal in her life. Something that she's always reaching towards. If she's already really smart, that's a bonus, but if being really smart is her goal then that's the more important part. Um, let's see. It doesn't really matter what she looks like, I don't think, but, um. [actually, she won't say that out loud quite yet, though man this water must be pretty warm if her face is going red!]
I just want someone who can help me be a better person while I'm helping them out however I can, too. [a beat.] That's what true love is, you know?
no subject
You've thought about this before, haven't you? [She gives the taller girl's arm a squeeze.]
But come on, I won't think you're shallow if you talk about looks. Surely there's a body type you prefer?
no subject
[it's almost like thinking too hard about love is exactly what Lina's problem is! haha. ha. not that she'd ever let anyone know or anything. fortunately, being called out on more, um, physical preferences is what gets her to look bashful before being called out for how much she thinks about love hits her.]
I, um. [how does she say this tastefully?] I don't know if it's a preference, but more often than not, um, especially lately, the kinds of girls I like all have. Kind of... bigger than normal chests.
[nailed it.]
no subject
I know just what you mean. God, I wish I could have introduced you to Victoria. Tall, athletic, washboard abs... [Sigh.] And yet she somehow had this amazing chest. Some girls get all the luck.
no subject
[not that Lina's immune to a couple of those descriptors. her muscles aren't showing yet, but give her until about halfway through November, and other than that she's built pretty similarly to Jen. identical heights and everything.]
But like I said. It isn't really a preference, it's just something that's been happening a lot lately. I don't... really think it's possible for me to see a woman and not think she looks good. [well! that's. honest and true and incredibly embarrassing. in for a penny...] Present company absolutely included.
no subject
Wow, I... that's very sweet of you to say. [Even though you pretty much just said you find every woman attractive?
Oh well. She knows what she meant.] I hope you know that you're quite lovely as well.
(no subject)