[this time, Lina's not going to fake her out. this time, Lina doesn't really care how Jen smells because they're both going to need showers after this anyway. because that's basically permission, right? to see Jen in a state of undress but on purpose this time?]
[her hands both slide down, then, to Jen's chest stay there for a moment while Lina comes back in for another kiss, just as hard as the first. it's been a while since she's felt a girl up like this before, much less one she has to literally live with after it's over, and double much less one as out of her league as Jen is, but she's going to do her best.]
[she fumbles for the zipper of Jen's bra with her heart racing and her body trying to stay still as though she'll wake up out of some incredible dream she's having if she makes a single wrong move. it's nothing she hasn't seen before, but seeing Jen like this is somehow almost enough to pierce her confidence. until she tells herself that this is what they both want and if Jen didn't want it then she'd stop it and says fuck it and pulls the zipper all the way down.]
[actually looking would mean breaking the kiss again, though, and she's not sure she wants to do that quite yet.]
[ Lina was just. helping her, in a way. that's how she'll looking at it. this was cathartic after what they just went through and they were helping each other!
kissing is good. very good. so is being free from the tight top like that but, yes, having it happen in this moment is not something Jen could say she ever predicted would happen. she can't even say if she's so sure it should be happening but - it's done. her chest heaves as she continues to hold Lina close and mash their lips together. ]
[ Jen's not nearly as worn out as she might normally be after all of ... that. a lot of That. the state of current dress or how much of a tangled mess the two of them are on the couch is the least of the important details, too, with her mind and body still reeling from the rather whirlwind time she just had with Lina.
her roommate.
the one she was supposed to "keep it casual" with...?
this. could still be casual, right? if draping the blanket that was covering the back side of the couch over their bodies and shifting herself to snuggle up more comfortable with her could be considered "casual" then it counted. right? right.
casual or not, that was amazing, and she really ought to find the words for it. tired as her jaw might well be. ] That... wow...
[this whole thing was surprisingly casual! they're just. they're friends. who casually do stuff with each other. roommates with benefits. it's totally normal, it's a thing that people do all the time.]
[Lina can't believe herself. she kind of can, but also she kind of really, really can't. but she super can't believe Jen, who was not only okay with this but encouraged it and holy shit she should've encouraged it sooner. Lina's breathless and holding her roommate close and letting herself recover and she has the stupidest look on her face.]
We just did that. [don't worry, Jen. Lina's got you covered.] That was... fuck.
[ Jen found herself suppressing a laugh. okay, she wanted to laugh at that, but she's still catching her breath too and besides she doesn't want to blurt that out when Lina's so close.
they're so close. on several terms now, apparently. things escalated so fast from the moment that she set foot in the bathroom and caught sight of her changes in the mirror, to her and Lina pumping themselves (each other?) up that they'd fight for their identities.
guess all that energy had to go somewhere. what better direction than... into each other?
wow, okay. thinking too much deeper into that is going to have to wait a few more moments. ] Yes... yes, we did.
[Lina didn't even bother suppressing that laugh when she heard Jen going for it, and it's bubbly in its exhaustion, like she still has some kind of energy inside of her even though she has no idea where it would even be coming from.]
I'm glad we did.
[that's sincere, but it's maybe not the right time for it, even though her brain is flooded with all kinds of good-time chemicals and she can't think of any time that would be better.]
Mmmn, me too. [ also sincere. she can question the how-and-why of it all later. much later. Jen will also have to see how it fits in with her whole current ideal life and relationship goals and all that other complex stuff. it just... it felt really good to just let go like that? maybe it wasn't the most productive way to send a "fuck you!" message to this screwed up town and its systems but damn it, they've done it, together, and it felt good. so good. ]
[she holds Jen closer even if they're both still recovering from being closer than they'd ever been before, and Lina has absolutely no plans to let her go.]
Where do you need to be that isn't right here?
[christ, she's disgusting. she should be making fun of herself right now.]
Uh, I don't know. In the shower...? [ perhaps now more than ever. Jen is only half-joking about it, and her tone might be more serious than expected, but it was an honest answer. when has she been anything less than honest for the most part? ]
Or maybe a bath. God, yes, a hot bath. [ a chuckle. ] Though at this rate I'd just pass out. Melt down the drain.
[she saw that coming. they could both use a shower or a bath or something, but the idea of taking one together, even if it crosses Lina's mind, is just totally counterproductive right now.]
Fine. I guess I can let you take a bath or something. If I have to.
[she's not letting up, though. she's too happy and lazy like this.]
Fine. [ she echoed in a tone that almost approached petulant. pouty at best. Jen didn't really have that spirit in her, but it felt nice to come down after all this and be able to still joke around with her roommate and not. like. freak out about oh my god what have they done.
is that not a good attitude to have right now? does acceptance make her a bad person? Jen's a normal girl with normal needs, dammit, and if it turns out this city was turning her into a real horndog... well. she'll deal with it. ]
Mmm. Later though. I already feel like jelly. [ she wriggles her stump a bit, trying to make herself more comfortable. ] What did you do to all my hard-won muscles?
[there's acceptance and there's resignation, and resignation is the thing that Lina just fought through to get to this point. acceptance is how she's dealing with the fact that yeah, things might be a little different between her and Jen from now on, but she can't think of any way it could go bad. maybe she's naïve.]
You know exactly what I did to them. [she giggles and nuzzles herself against her roommate, and her hand goes up Jen's side carefully. she doesn't want to make Jen self-conscious or anything.] I guess you'll just have to build them up some more.
[ another breathless laugh. Jen doesn't make any sudden moves, her eyes slipping closed at the touch. ] Mmm, I mean, yeah I was there but... my memory's feeling a little fuzzy already. [ it all happened so fast, so much. can anyone blame her for that? ]
[Lina moves her head in and presses a gentle kiss on Jen's neck while her fingers run up and down her side. she's reluctant to move up to her shoulder and then back down to what's... to her stump?, but she's considering it very strongly.]
It was really good. All you need to know is it's the best I've felt in months.
[ she's still keyed up from after everything, but not so much that the kiss is anything but a comfort to her. a kind gesture of appreciation. even so, Jen lets her head loll to the side gently as a pleased hum works its way up from her chest. ] Mmmmokaaay... I can live with that.
[ Jen finds herself twitching that vacant space because, for a moment, she forgets the prosthesis is laying on the table and she cannot card the fingers of that hand through Lina's hair or anything. bodies are dumb. she quickly switches it up for the proper hand to accomplish her task, even if it's a bit harder due to their position. ]
[okay, well, that's just cute. it's not something Lina's going to bring up ever again, that Jen forgot she didn't have her arm on, because she does have some idea of how to be tactful, but now that Jen's fingers are in her hair Lina is feeling much more relaxed about it. she reaches her own hand out carefully, coming off Jen's side and up to her shoulder, then down again to just above where her prosthesis usually attaches.]
[she makes a quiet noise, mostly out of utter contentment from how calm this entire experience has been, and keeps her touch light. she doesn't want to push any boundaries, and confidence can turn to overconfidence so easily. the other purpose of that noise, then, was to open it up in case Jen wanted to stop her or say anything about the touch.]
[ very, very few people could get away with finding something like that amusing. it just goes to show how used to having it Jen was. it's a shame it was uncomfortable to sleep with it on, because if it wasn't for that she'd just wear it all the time. again: bodies are dumb. it's rather amusing, too, how Jen went from resenting the presence of the arm to having it be such an integral part of her everyday life. the convenience itself was beyond words, obviously, but even just having it there, feeling the weight of it at her side, the way it moved when she responded as if it was truly a part of her...
and, hey, having people stare at that side of her for good reasons sure as hell didn't hurt.
having her bare arm touched, though, always came at a surprise. mostly because the only times it happened were under clinical or otherwise professional circumstances. or, well, being handled while playing sports. even in the latter incidents most people pulled away and/or apologized straight away. like they were afraid of hurting her - they could - or it was disgusting for them - it probably was.
the touch... it's not unwelcome, but Jen does tense up and hold her breath out of sheer reflex. her other hand stops too, but soon resumes its gentle pace, fingers threading through Lina's locks in the same manner. a moment later and she finally relaxes herself. ] I... don't mind if you touch it, you know. [ a chuckle. ] It won't bite.
[Lina's hand stops, her touch becoming feather-light when she feels Jen tense. it's not what she wants to happen. she doesn't want this to be bad, to be uncomfortable. she—lets out a breath. okay. things are okay. and Jen is even okay enough to make a joke about it, and that's what brings the smile back to Lina's face. after the realization does hit her that everything's okay, she returns to the same idle trails she'd been drawing. though maybe they're a little less idle now.]
I just wanted to make sure. It's silly, right? [a soft puff of air from her nose.] We've done so much with each other and I'm still worried about touching this?
[it's not something Lina could ever know for herself. not unless she somehow ended up in Jen's body, which would just be absurd.]
[ Jen shrugged her other shoulder and turned her head to the side so she could watch what Lina was doing so it wouldn't feel as foreign to her. the muscles were built up from her training but oddly... firm. atrophy is a common side effect of all this but she obviously did a lot to keep herself from looking lopsided beyond the obvious. the skin itself is still damp with sweat but also quite rough despite that, especially now around the indentations the new socket leaves her with. they're barely visible with how long it's been off, but easy to feel. ]
Sorry. I'm not holding that worry against you. Just. Most people - okay pretty much no one goes near it unless they're my doctor or trainer.
[of course she did a lot to keep herself looking this way. Lina knows now that Jen puts so, so much effort into everything she does, that this whole time she's been thinking of her dead wrong and there's nothing easy or simple about her life. she's quiet, then, while Jen talks.]
I should fix that. [she doesn't know why she's taking that responsibility as her own, but maybe it's just because she's here and opportunity is knocking. her fingers move along the edge, where the socket usually goes, and she can feel its presence even though it isn't there, which seems. appropriate.]
I'm going to get better about your arm. [her voice is gentle, but the sentiment is real, even if she doesn't feel like she's saying it exactly right.] I'm sorry.
You didn't do anything wrong. [ it's reflexive that she says that, as that's not entirely true. all those times Lina has shied away from her taking care of her arm, or taking off her prosthetic, did not go unnoticed. but this wasn't the time for calling her out. Jen wouldn't call anyone out unless they were being an absolute ass about it; even then, she'd likely just walk away. she's had those fights before and there was no winning anyone over. ]
It's like my therapist always said - people are just afraid of what they don't understand. [ and here she draws her hand down to grip Lina's shoulder. ] I don't... want you to ever know what it's like. But I'd like it if you were more comfortable with it.
[it's something Lina's aware of, don't worry. she's noticed, especially now that she's trying to get closer to Jen. she's noticed how bad she is at coexisting in more ways than one, and treating Jen like she's... something to be ashamed of isn't the right way to handle it.]
It might take a little while. [she may as well be honest about it. what else is she willing to be honest about...?] Is there. Anything you think I should understand about it?
[even though she's still being close with Jen, still gently touching her arm, she feels tense just asking that question.]
Mmn. I'm not going anywhere. [ which is a statement that could be interpreted a few different ways, yes, but Jen's intent is to make it clear that Lina has more than a while to get used to things.
there's something else important she ought to warn her about. but in light of everything that's already happened tonight there's just no desire to get into it. Jen rubs at her friend's arm with her hands, pulling the blanket up a bit more as she does so, so that she can get under it and continue the motion without exposing Lina to the relatively cool air. ]
[Lina's not that dumb. she smiles and presses her lips against Jen's jawline because it's the easiest part to reach and curls up under the blanket with her. this is so strange that it's even happening, but it feels even stranger that she still hasn't told Jen she likes being the little spoon. she'll do it one of these days.]
That's the second best idea I've heard all day. [ the first? well. that goes without saying. in this position Lina is more like a very warm blanket draped over Jen the way she is. but that's also very good.
is her neck going to hate her later when it's time to get up? probably. 300% worth it though. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
don't look kiddos
[her hands both slide down, then, to Jen's chest stay there for a moment while Lina comes back in for another kiss, just as hard as the first. it's been a while since she's felt a girl up like this before, much less one she has to literally live with after it's over, and double much less one as out of her league as Jen is, but she's going to do her best.]
[she fumbles for the zipper of Jen's bra with her heart racing and her body trying to stay still as though she'll wake up out of some incredible dream she's having if she makes a single wrong move. it's nothing she hasn't seen before, but seeing Jen like this is somehow almost enough to pierce her confidence. until she tells herself that this is what they both want and if Jen didn't want it then she'd stop it and says fuck it and pulls the zipper all the way down.]
[actually looking would mean breaking the kiss again, though, and she's not sure she wants to do that quite yet.]
AVERT THINE EYES or not we're outta here anyway
kissing is good. very good. so is being free from the tight top like that but, yes, having it happen in this moment is not something Jen could say she ever predicted would happen. she can't even say if she's so sure it should be happening but - it's done. her chest heaves as she continues to hold Lina close and mash their lips together. ]
aaaand we're back
her roommate.
the one she was supposed to "keep it casual" with...?
this. could still be casual, right? if draping the blanket that was covering the back side of the couch over their bodies and shifting herself to snuggle up more comfortable with her could be considered "casual" then it counted. right? right.
casual or not, that was amazing, and she really ought to find the words for it. tired as her jaw might well be. ] That... wow...
[ yes, so smooth, Jen. much eloquence. ]
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[Lina can't believe herself. she kind of can, but also she kind of really, really can't. but she super can't believe Jen, who was not only okay with this but encouraged it and holy shit she should've encouraged it sooner. Lina's breathless and holding her roommate close and letting herself recover and she has the stupidest look on her face.]
We just did that. [don't worry, Jen. Lina's got you covered.] That was... fuck.
[yes. yes it was.]
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they're so close. on several terms now, apparently. things escalated so fast from the moment that she set foot in the bathroom and caught sight of her changes in the mirror, to her and Lina pumping themselves (each other?) up that they'd fight for their identities.
guess all that energy had to go somewhere. what better direction than... into each other?
wow, okay. thinking too much deeper into that is going to have to wait a few more moments. ] Yes... yes, we did.
God.
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I'm glad we did.
[that's sincere, but it's maybe not the right time for it, even though her brain is flooded with all kinds of good-time chemicals and she can't think of any time that would be better.]
Now we know what it's like.
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I don't want to get up. Ever.
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[she holds Jen closer even if they're both still recovering from being closer than they'd ever been before, and Lina has absolutely no plans to let her go.]
Where do you need to be that isn't right here?
[christ, she's disgusting. she should be making fun of herself right now.]
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Or maybe a bath. God, yes, a hot bath. [ a chuckle. ] Though at this rate I'd just pass out. Melt down the drain.
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Fine. I guess I can let you take a bath or something. If I have to.
[she's not letting up, though. she's too happy and lazy like this.]
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is that not a good attitude to have right now? does acceptance make her a bad person? Jen's a normal girl with normal needs, dammit, and if it turns out this city was turning her into a real horndog... well. she'll deal with it. ]
Mmm. Later though. I already feel like jelly. [ she wriggles her stump a bit, trying to make herself more comfortable. ] What did you do to all my hard-won muscles?
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You know exactly what I did to them. [she giggles and nuzzles herself against her roommate, and her hand goes up Jen's side carefully. she doesn't want to make Jen self-conscious or anything.] I guess you'll just have to build them up some more.
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It was really good. All you need to know is it's the best I've felt in months.
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[ Jen finds herself twitching that vacant space because, for a moment, she forgets the prosthesis is laying on the table and she cannot card the fingers of that hand through Lina's hair or anything. bodies are dumb. she quickly switches it up for the proper hand to accomplish her task, even if it's a bit harder due to their position. ]
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[she makes a quiet noise, mostly out of utter contentment from how calm this entire experience has been, and keeps her touch light. she doesn't want to push any boundaries, and confidence can turn to overconfidence so easily. the other purpose of that noise, then, was to open it up in case Jen wanted to stop her or say anything about the touch.]
the last tag you're getting tonight (nottalking)
and, hey, having people stare at that side of her for good reasons sure as hell didn't hurt.
having her bare arm touched, though, always came at a surprise. mostly because the only times it happened were under clinical or otherwise professional circumstances. or, well, being handled while playing sports. even in the latter incidents most people pulled away and/or apologized straight away. like they were afraid of hurting her - they could - or it was disgusting for them - it probably was.
the touch... it's not unwelcome, but Jen does tense up and hold her breath out of sheer reflex. her other hand stops too, but soon resumes its gentle pace, fingers threading through Lina's locks in the same manner. a moment later and she finally relaxes herself. ] I... don't mind if you touch it, you know. [ a chuckle. ] It won't bite.
challenge accepted
I just wanted to make sure. It's silly, right? [a soft puff of air from her nose.] We've done so much with each other and I'm still worried about touching this?
[it's not something Lina could ever know for herself. not unless she somehow ended up in Jen's body, which would just be absurd.]
you did it wtg
[ Jen shrugged her other shoulder and turned her head to the side so she could watch what Lina was doing so it wouldn't feel as foreign to her. the muscles were built up from her training but oddly... firm. atrophy is a common side effect of all this but she obviously did a lot to keep herself from looking lopsided beyond the obvious. the skin itself is still damp with sweat but also quite rough despite that, especially now around the indentations the new socket leaves her with. they're barely visible with how long it's been off, but easy to feel. ]
Sorry. I'm not holding that worry against you. Just. Most people - okay pretty much no one goes near it unless they're my doctor or trainer.
hey so did they
I should fix that. [she doesn't know why she's taking that responsibility as her own, but maybe it's just because she's here and opportunity is knocking. her fingers move along the edge, where the socket usually goes, and she can feel its presence even though it isn't there, which seems. appropriate.]
I'm going to get better about your arm. [her voice is gentle, but the sentiment is real, even if she doesn't feel like she's saying it exactly right.] I'm sorry.
ayyyy
It's like my therapist always said - people are just afraid of what they don't understand. [ and here she draws her hand down to grip Lina's shoulder. ] I don't... want you to ever know what it's like. But I'd like it if you were more comfortable with it.
So... thank you.
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It might take a little while. [she may as well be honest about it. what else is she willing to be honest about...?] Is there. Anything you think I should understand about it?
[even though she's still being close with Jen, still gently touching her arm, she feels tense just asking that question.]
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there's something else important she ought to warn her about. but in light of everything that's already happened tonight there's just no desire to get into it. Jen rubs at her friend's arm with her hands, pulling the blanket up a bit more as she does so, so that she can get under it and continue the motion without exposing Lina to the relatively cool air. ]
Not tonight.
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[Lina's not that dumb. she smiles and presses her lips against Jen's jawline because it's the easiest part to reach and curls up under the blanket with her. this is so strange that it's even happening, but it feels even stranger that she still hasn't told Jen she likes being the little spoon. she'll do it one of these days.]
Let's just get some rest.
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is her neck going to hate her later when it's time to get up? probably. 300% worth it though. ]