Nope. [ Jen chuckles as she rises up out of her seat. she walks toward the bathroom, taking off the robe so she doesn't feel so stuffy in it, and pads right back to her drink, all as she speaks. ] I'm not going to lie and say figure doesn't matter. I'm a little shallow.
[ she hums quietly before taking a sip. ] I'm more of a... hmm, how can I put it...
"Hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave."
[barely seeing any reason to conceal it anymore given the subject of their conversation, Lina's eyes follow Jen as she walks, and she sits up a little straighter (well,) when that robe comes off and she can actually appreciate the way those clothes look on her.]
I understand entirely. [fully aware and uncaring of how obvious she's being, she leans back a little in her chair and gives her roommate a Look.] I never got that myself, you know? But hey, no judgment. We know what we like and that's the important part.
[ she extends her index finger from her glass to point at Lina. ] Exactly!
Though I do feel sorry for anyone who has 'em like — [ Jen gestures outward from her chest in a wide arc. like a certain figure. ] That back pain is no joke.
Oh my god, yeah. [the gesture keeps the smile on Lina's face; she knows what Jen's going to comment on even before she says it.]
There's definitely a limit. Like, okay, if the Erlkönigin in there were a real person, I would feel so bad for her. Especially if she's riding a horse? With thigh cut-outs? She'd be miserable. These designs really aren't practical.
[but she didn't buy it because she thought the outfit was practical. god, no.]
But... like I keep saying. Girls who look like that aren't into me. [it doesn't sound like she's beating herself up for it this time—she says it like she's stating a fact, but it's kind of a blasé one.]
That statue barely looked to be holding it together. A real lady would just... snap. Like a twig.
[ but enough about waifus, on to the 3D women. ]
It's. Mm. You need... something. [ Jen crossed her arms again and thought for a long moment. then, she had something of a random idea as her eyes left Lina and fell upon her empty glass of tea.
this was kind of a stupid idea, too, but she shifted her state of mind some.
yeah. okay. ]
Ugh, why is my throat so dry today? [ she leaned her head back to expose her neck, fingers running down the side of her throat. then Jen picked up the glass, padded over to Lina's side of the table, and leaned on the edge with one hand while she looked down at her. the look is... one she hasn't seen from Jen before. the look of a woman who wants something, but doesn't seem to particularly care if the other person does.
with a voice to match. ]
Could you pour me some more?
[ the pitcher is literally right there. past where Jen had walked. it was not a small table but she could have just reached and gotten it for herself. that's the exercise. ]
[sorry, Jen. a regular normal person who knew how to interact with other human beings would probably have picked up on this. unfortunately, Lina.]
[she looked wordlessly from Jen to the pitcher and back, then raised an eyebrow. left with absolutely no way to properly read the look she was getting, Lina defaulted to her, uh, regular state of things.] You can...
[wait, was this some kind of test? okay, fine, she shut up and reached over to grab the pitcher, then brought it back and looked up at her roommate again. her face had the word "unsure" written all over it, but without saying much, she cautiously poured enough tea to fill her roommate's glass.]
[ Jen never would have been able to do that, right there, so smoothly if it was actually in public. or with some very, very attractive stranger in most cases. it took some actual obvious deliberation on Lina's part, but once the drink is full Jen drops the facade and returns to her side of the table. ]
Hah! I can't believe that worked.
[ good thing she has this nice, cold drink now because she needs to guzzle some of that down to maintain her cool. great going, Jen. ]
...and maybe that, too. But mostly it was the confidence. [ Jen turned around and no she didn't have a faint color to her cheeks that must be Lina's imagination. ] That's something you can use to your advantage even if you don't have cash to blow on the superficial stuff. Money can buy you cute clothes, makeovers, and drinks, but at the end of the day money can't buy you confidence.
[so it was a lesson, not a test. either way it was better than the answer of "because you're gay" that Lina had been half-expecting. she leaned forward, elbows on the table.]
I have tons of confidence. I've just never used it for the same stuff you use it for.
Being confident about your own flaws, you mean? [ that isn't meant to sound malicious but, again, look at their talks before this week. ] That doesn't count.
[and a little more theatrically, Lina rolled her eyes and hung her head, stopping just short of faceplanting into her plate.]
Look, I get it, okay? I'm a fucking piece of shit and I'll never be able to date anybody because I'm spending too much time feeling sorry for myself. Is that what you're trying to fix?
See? There you go again! Putting words in my mouth. [ this time, Jen sounds irate about it too. she is trying to tamp some of that harness down but it's hard when communication can break down so quickly. ]
What I'm saying is you need the right kind of confidence. To turn things around. Make it work for you, and not against you.
[Lina almost rose to it this time. almost. but she felt enough like shit being talked to like this, enough like she just literally ruined a pleasant evening by being negative again, that she sat there and took it instead. her back straightened when Jen was done, and she looked her roommate square in the eyes while drawing her hands back into her lap.]
Fine. [mm. terse. cool. good start.] How do I get experience.
[ that's... better? Jen expected more push-back, but it could be Lina is just making an attempt at humoring her. either way, Jen is not doing either of them a favor by being so aggressive-supportive.
Jen closes her eyes and takes a deep, calming breath. right. okay.
she picks up her plate and silverware and makes her way over to the sink. ] Practice! For example, that date I set you up on. I... may have set you up with someone who was more my type, now that I'm being honest about things.
[yeah, yeah, okay, time for Lina to stop being lazy and join Jen in clearing off the table. maybe she can get out some of this energy by walking around the apartment a little bit, just so it doesn't explode all over her roommate.]
What, really? I never would've been able to tell. [sarcasm is like anger lite. but Lina does have to pepper in some sincerity in an effort to salvage this conversation from nearly careening off the rails a moment ago.]
She was nice, though. You have good taste. [she places her dishes in the sink to deal with once they're done talking.] Maybe if you want to keep setting me up, you should grill me a little.
Maybe so. [ Jen moves aside to let Lina by, leaning against the counter now. ]
See, the thing about that is. What you said about types? Sometimes that's not enough either. [ she purses her lips, trying to find a good way to relay advice about something that, honestly, she has limited experience in herself and mostly only with boys in the past. not that those worked out that well for long-term relationships either. ] Ali. — Alison and I we, uh, hooked up a long time ago.
It was fun, I'll admit, but it wouldn't have worked out. [ Jen rolled her head back and forth, flexing her shoulders, which were still a little stiff. ]
[well, that might be a story, but maybe they should get, like, wasted or something and talk about it at some point. maybe that was the kind of story that actual friends shared when they were drunk together. not that she'd know what that was like in person.]
So what's your pedigree like, anyway? [weird way to phrase it. thanks, Lina. she tilted her head slightly after that, though, noticing the difficulties Jen seemed to be having.] You feeling okay?
[ Jen's face lit up in realization. duh! that made sense. but yes, it was an odd way to put it. ] Ahh. That one was a freebie because I thought it was fair to let you know. Other than that, and the one ex I mentioned before... eh. [ she shrugged a shoulder. ]
I couldn't really spend a lot of time with the others because I was always focused on sports, or studies. [ she rubbed at her neck. either she's tense, a VERY bad liar, or both. Jen can't exactly call what happened with Vera as part of the experience. even if they did meet up at several parties. she invited herself over to her house a few times. things got heated one. they danced...
then there's Kara. that's staying on the down-low as best as she can possibly manage it. ] No one really makes for a good example.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ she hums quietly before taking a sip. ] I'm more of a... hmm, how can I put it...
"Hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave."
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I understand entirely. [fully aware and uncaring of how obvious she's being, she leans back a little in her chair and gives her roommate a Look.] I never got that myself, you know? But hey, no judgment. We know what we like and that's the important part.
[why is it this that she's chill about.]
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Though I do feel sorry for anyone who has 'em like — [ Jen gestures outward from her chest in a wide arc.
like a certain figure. ] That back pain is no joke.no subject
There's definitely a limit. Like, okay, if the Erlkönigin in there were a real person, I would feel so bad for her. Especially if she's riding a horse? With thigh cut-outs? She'd be miserable. These designs really aren't practical.
[but she didn't buy it because she thought the outfit was practical. god, no.]
But... like I keep saying. Girls who look like that aren't into me. [it doesn't sound like she's beating herself up for it this time—she says it like she's stating a fact, but it's kind of a blasé one.]
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[ but enough about waifus, on to the 3D women. ]
It's. Mm. You need... something. [ Jen crossed her arms again and thought for a long moment. then, she had something of a random idea as her eyes left Lina and fell upon her empty glass of tea.
this was kind of a stupid idea, too, but she shifted her state of mind some.
yeah. okay. ]
Ugh, why is my throat so dry today? [ she leaned her head back to expose her neck, fingers running down the side of her throat. then Jen picked up the glass, padded over to Lina's side of the table, and leaned on the edge with one hand while she looked down at her. the look is... one she hasn't seen from Jen before. the look of a woman who wants something, but doesn't seem to particularly care if the other person does.
with a voice to match. ]
Could you pour me some more?
[ the pitcher is literally right there. past where Jen had walked. it was not a small table but she could have just reached and gotten it for herself. that's the exercise. ]
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[she looked wordlessly from Jen to the pitcher and back, then raised an eyebrow. left with absolutely no way to properly read the look she was getting, Lina defaulted to her, uh, regular state of things.] You can...
[wait, was this some kind of test? okay, fine, she shut up and reached over to grab the pitcher, then brought it back and looked up at her roommate again. her face had the word "unsure" written all over it, but without saying much, she cautiously poured enough tea to fill her roommate's glass.]
Is that... good?
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Hah! I can't believe that worked.
[ good thing she has this nice, cold drink now because she needs to guzzle some of that down to maintain her cool. great going, Jen. ]
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[Lina has no idea what just happened. she feels like she just got played but can't even begin to guess what the game was.]
You got me to do something for you? Big victory, really pulled one over on your personal chef.
[no, she's not watching Jen drink. no she wasn't swayed by the way her fingers ran down her neck earlier.]
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[ she put the glass down and trailed her finger over the rim of it. ] I knew you'd probably do it for me anyway. You want to know why?
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[look, just because Jen was right didn't mean Lina had to like it.]
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...and maybe that, too. But mostly it was the confidence. [ Jen turned around and no she didn't have a faint color to her cheeks that must be Lina's imagination. ] That's something you can use to your advantage even if you don't have cash to blow on the superficial stuff. Money can buy you cute clothes, makeovers, and drinks, but at the end of the day money can't buy you confidence.
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I have tons of confidence. I've just never used it for the same stuff you use it for.
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That's not all. [but she didn't have much else by way of protest.] Sometimes I get into internet arguments too.
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this look
forever ]
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Look, I get it, okay? I'm a fucking piece of shit and I'll never be able to date anybody because I'm spending too much time feeling sorry for myself. Is that what you're trying to fix?
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What I'm saying is you need the right kind of confidence. To turn things around. Make it work for you, and not against you.
That comes from experience. And effort.
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Fine. [mm. terse. cool. good start.] How do I get experience.
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Jen closes her eyes and takes a deep, calming breath. right. okay.
she picks up her plate and silverware and makes her way over to the sink. ] Practice! For example, that date I set you up on. I... may have set you up with someone who was more my type, now that I'm being honest about things.
[ you THINK, Jen? ]
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What, really? I never would've been able to tell. [sarcasm is like anger lite. but Lina does have to pepper in some sincerity in an effort to salvage this conversation from nearly careening off the rails a moment ago.]
She was nice, though. You have good taste. [she places her dishes in the sink to deal with once they're done talking.] Maybe if you want to keep setting me up, you should grill me a little.
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See, the thing about that is. What you said about types? Sometimes that's not enough either. [ she purses her lips, trying to find a good way to relay advice about something that, honestly, she has limited experience in herself and mostly only with boys in the past. not that those worked out that well for long-term relationships either. ] Ali. — Alison and I we, uh, hooked up a long time ago.
It was fun, I'll admit, but it wouldn't have worked out. [ Jen rolled her head back and forth, flexing her shoulders, which were still a little stiff. ]
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[well, that might be a story, but maybe they should get, like, wasted or something and talk about it at some point. maybe that was the kind of story that actual friends shared when they were drunk together. not that she'd know what that was like in person.]
So what's your pedigree like, anyway? [weird way to phrase it. thanks, Lina. she tilted her head slightly after that, though, noticing the difficulties Jen seemed to be having.] You feeling okay?
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Oh, mm. I'm fine. What did you mean by "pedigree"?
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You know, who have you dated?
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I couldn't really spend a lot of time with the others because I was always focused on sports, or studies. [ she rubbed at her neck. either she's tense, a VERY bad liar, or both. Jen can't exactly call what happened with Vera as part of the experience. even if they did meet up at several parties. she invited herself over to her house a few times. things got heated one. they danced...
then there's Kara. that's staying on the down-low as best as she can possibly manage it. ] No one really makes for a good example.
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